You are not a #pinterestfail...
You are not a #Pinterest Fail…
As my son’s 5th birthday was approaching, I was consumed by thoughts of his birthday party. What in the world were we going to do? He asked to invite his friends to the playground to eat cake and oreos. I had a difficult time accepting that it was enough. Would that really make him feel special? 5 seemed like a milestone that should be full on celebrated. So I tried to find more and do more for his birthday. I began to feel overwhelmed and dreaded the party.
I struggle with either caring TOO much or not caring at all; doing EVERYTHING or doing nothing. I have difficulty finding the balance in between. Birthdays are one of my favorite things. I love celebrating each person in our family on their day. I do not enjoy planning parties, picking a location (because our house isn’t a great party set up for more than a handful of people), themes, decorations, having enough food, but not too much, and worrying about whether everyone else is happy or thinks I did “enough”, all without breaking the bank or overwhelming myself. We need to remember that the day is about our kids and what they love. I know my kids would be happy with pizza, store bought cupcakes, and a playdate at the park.
Why do I have such a hard time accepting that doing that is enough? Social Media, Google, and Pinterest have increased these feelings in me, and I think most moms, tenfold. There are 1000s of ideas and perfectly laid out tablescapes. Just choosing a theme can be difficult! Everything looks simple, yet perfectly crafted. The key word is “looks”. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of Pinterest being the norm and not the top 10%. It is not how the other half lives. We can’t all expertly design decorations, have elegantly laid out food tables, including clever labels, and fun themed games to play for our 5 year old’s birthday party. Let me add, I think those moms are AMAZING. They have a set of skills that I envy. I have friends who are those moms. I am not trying to shame them. That is one of their strengths and they should be PROUD.
I think we should ALL try to make our child’s day special, but we need to scale back the perfection that we have somehow tricked ourselves into thinking is the minimum. This level of perfectionism and our easy access to it has caused a new level of judgement on ourselves. We think that average is not good enough. We then pass this judgement on to how we think others view us. We worry what other parents will think if we don’t meet this perceived minimum. We had access to the Pinterest links and diy guides, why could we not achieve it? That answer is different for everyone and sometimes we do nail a tutorial or two, but between skills, time, and money, it just often doesn’t happen. Don’t get it twisted, I love getting on the blackhole of Pinterest for recipes and ideas, but I also fall into the trap. I spend hours obsessing over what is the “best”, test run the ideas, then start again. I have wasted an embarrassing number of hands on hours attempting projects….and even more hours just in my head running over things.
Finally at 32, after marriage, several moves, and 2 kids, I have learned that I need to just decide and roll with it. Do some research, but give myself a time limit and do not live there. Accept that I do not have to do everything myself (thanks to the grocery store bakery and Amazon!). I now ask myself “Would I think these things about my friend’s child’s party?" No?” Then chances are no one is thinking that way about me. If they do, then I don’t really want that person in my circle anyway.
So we ended up with a park party, store-bought sheetcake that I decorated with toys, oreos, goldfish, and alot of rain. All the kids had fun. The fact is that we need to be easier on ourselves and ENJOY these moments. Breathe and take them in. Time is a limited resource. Do what is important to you and your family, celebrate with friends, and stop stressing over perfecting the details. You are not a #Pinterestfail.
